Ah, boredom! The thing that happens to us all when our brains are so starved of stimulation that they’re practically begging for a Sudoku puzzle just to stay alive. That’s right; it happens to everyone: the young, the old, the middle-aged who think they’re still young. So, here you are, Googling what to do when you’re bored as if the internet was some sort of fairy godparent that could magically make your life interesting.
Let’s get down to business. No, don’t go back to scrolling through social media hoping for some random meme to jolt your serotonin levels back to life. And don’t even think about reorganizing your sock drawer for the fourth time this week. We’re going for real advice here, folks!
1. Become a Culinary Maestro
If you’re bored, why not invest in a kitchen catastrophe? Yeah, I’m talking about cooking. Think of it as a science experiment where the worst-case scenario is that you have to order pizza. Again. Even if you burn water and make cereal look gourmet, cooking is the perfect way to end your self-inflicted agony called boredom. Follow a recipe, or don’t. The point is to mix a bunch of ingredients, apply heat, and hope for the best. Just remember, fire extinguishers make for excellent kitchen décor and can come in handy.
2. Unleash Your Inner Picasso
Next up, art! Oh, please, stop pretending you have no artistic talent. We’re not asking you to recreate the Mona Lisa, just doodle something! Grab some crayons, markers, or whatever writing utensils you have lying around, and put them to paper. Sure, it might look like a 5-year-old’s attempt at first, but hey, some of those kids sell their artwork for big bucks. Think of it as an “abstract expression of your boredom.” Be sure to hang your masterpiece on the fridge when you’re done. It’ll be a constant reminder of how you conquered your boredom — or failed at art. Either way, it’s a win.
3. Exercise Your Way to More Boredom
Now, what better way to kill time than by actually trying to kill yourself with some high-intensity workout? Just kidding! Exercise is good for you (said every health nut ever). But seriously, working out is a fantastic way to pump those endorphins and forget you were ever bored. Whether it’s a 20-minute HIIT session, a relaxed yoga flow, or aggressive interpretive dancing to heavy metal, your body will thank you — or file a formal complaint. Either way, you won’t be bored anymore.
4. Write Your Autobiography
You’re an interesting person, with lots of… things that have happened to you. You’ve been alive for years now; surely that’s worth at least a pamphlet. So, why not write your autobiography? Even if the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done is choosing a different brand of toothpaste, write it down! You never know, your life story could be the next big bedtime story for insomniacs.
5. Become a Plant Whisperer
If you’re reading this article, chances are you’ve killed a plant or two in your lifetime. Well, boredom is the perfect time to atone for your “plantacide.” Talk to your plants, water them, or just sit and watch them grow, which can be as exciting as watching paint dry, but it’s still something! If you don’t have any plants, maybe it’s time to get one. Just remember, cacti are virtually indestructible unless you really, truly, make an effort to destroy them.
6. Be a Movie Critic for a Day
Turn your boredom into a lucrative career move by becoming an amateur movie critic. Okay, maybe not lucrative, but at least it’ll give you something to complain about other than your life. Pick a movie you haven’t seen yet, preferably something you would never choose to watch otherwise. Then dissect it. Take notes. At the end, pen a scathing or praising review. Even if you’re the only reader, you’ll have transformed two hours of screen time into a piece of high-brow critique that will make you feel like you’re wearing a tweed jacket with elbow patches.
7. The Great Closet Expedition
Your closet is like Narnia, except instead of mythical creatures, it’s filled with clothes you haven’t worn since 2002. Time to explore! Who knows, you may discover a new world, or at the very least, a shirt you forgot you had but is now back in style. Try on outfits, make a fashion show out of it, and if you’re brave, let go of some items that no longer “spark joy.” You’re not only beating boredom, you’re also making space for more boredom-beating activities like shopping.
8. Start a Fake Band
I mean, you’ve got a comb, some rubber bands, and pots and pans. What’s stopping you from being the next big thing in the indie music scene? Create an album cover, write down some lyrics, and jam out. And by “jam out,” I mean make noises that vaguely resemble musical tunes. Post your “new single” on social media and wait for the accolades (or the trolls) to roll in.
9. Become a Master of Disguise
Ever wondered if you’d make a good spy? Well, now’s your chance to find out. Create a disguise with whatever you have lying around the house. Yes, those oversized sunglasses and your Aunt Sally’s wig could finally come in handy. Once you’re incognito, slip into character. Walk around your home and interact with your family or roommates. If they recognize you, you fail. If they call the police, you really fail but also win for creating a really good disguise.
10. Build a Pillow Fort of Solitude
You’re never too old for a pillow fort. NEVER. Take every pillow, cushion, and blanket you can find and construct your palace of fluff. This is your kingdom now. Rule it with an iron fist or a velvet glove, your choice. Don’t forget to hang a “No Boring People Allowed” sign on the entrance.
11. Annoy Your Pets (Safely)
No one loves you like your pet, and no one is better at alleviating your boredom than Mr. Whiskers or Fido. Grab a laser pointer, throw a ball, or simply run around the house while your pet chases you. If you don’t have a pet, you can always pretend to be one. No judgment here.
12. Make a Bucket List and Immediately Ignore It
I know, I know, bucket lists are supposed to be things you want to do before you die. But why wait? Write down all the wild things you want to do — like skydiving, swimming with sharks, or learning to juggle flaming torches. Now promptly fold that paper and tuck it into a book you’ll never read. At least you did something! The simple act of fantasizing about not being bored is not boring. It’s like Inception but with more daydreams and less Leonardo DiCaprio.
13. Amateur Astronomy Indoors
No, you don’t need a telescope or a clear sky. Just lie on your floor and stare at your ceiling. Imagine the constellations that could be hidden in the texture or any cracks. Name them, create myths around them, and confuse real astronomers by mentioning them in casual conversation. “Oh, you’ve never heard of ‘Ceilingus Borealis’? Pity.”
14. Play Floor is Lava, but Make it Adult
You’ve matured, and so should your games. The floor is no longer lava; it’s existential dread. Or taxes. Whatever scares you now. Jump from furniture to furniture to avoid it. Bonus points if you actually do your taxes while playing.
15. Scroll Through Your Own Social Media
Scroll back far enough on your own profiles and it’s like traveling back in time. Cringe at your old photos, wonder why you ever thought that status was clever, and delete any evidence that you ever used the phrase “YOLO” unironically. It’s a walk down memory lane, but with more self-judgment.
16. DIY Obstacle Course
Create a totally wicked obstacle course using household items. Chairs become hurdles, tape on the floor is a tightrope, and the table is now a tunnel. Time yourself going through it. Beat your own time. Invite others in your household to try and beat your time. Revel in your glory when they can’t.
17. Guess that Smell
This is a good one if you’ve got some daring — or unsuspecting — family or roommates. Blindfold each other and take turns sniffing various items from the fridge. Sounds gross, but you’d be surprised at how challenging it can be to identify the scent of cheese versus week-old leftovers. Make it a game; the loser has to clean out the fridge.
18. Pretend You’re a Tour Guide
Pick a room in your house and guide your family or friends on an elaborate tour. Make up historical facts, point out rare artifacts like the ‘vintage’ flip phone from 2005, and don’t forget to mention the world-famous carpet stain that looks vaguely like Abraham Lincoln. Remember, the more ridiculous, the better.
19. Host Your Own Talk Show
Sit down in the most comfortable chair you can find, grab a hairbrush as your microphone, and introduce your guest (a stuffed animal, a plant, or even yourself). Fire away with some hard-hitting questions. “So, Mr. Teddy, how did you really feel when you were left behind during the family vacation of ’09?”
20. Document Your Boredom
Last but not least, why not document your transcendental journey from Boredomville to Not-So-Bored Town? Take awkward selfies, record a vlog, or simply write down your thoughts, hopes, and dreams on Post-It notes and stick them on your wall. One day, future generations may study your boredom artifacts as ancient relics of a simpler time.
So there you have it! Twenty foolproof (well, mostly) ways to elevate your existence from a human paperweight to a dynamo of activity and faux productivity. With these tips in your anti-boredom arsenal, you’re all set to live your best, least-boring life — at least until the next wave of ennui hits you like a freight train.